When I meet people or talk on the phone with them, one of the first things they commonly say after I ask them how they are doing is: “I am so busy, I have no time”. Truthfully, I am never quite sure what to do with that. It makes me feel like I am not busy, which I guess is good, but it does give me perspective. I can’t help but think, do you really think you are that busy? Some people really are very busy and for many of those I think “boy you need to slow down. Some others are not really all that busy and it leaves me thinking “really?” What happens to me often is that I shut right down and I am not sure why. I simply don’t want to tell them what I am up to.
I suppose it is because I have lots going on too, but I don’t like using the word “busy” because it feels like I am complaining. It sometimes shuts the other person down right away because it suggests that I lead a busier life than them.
I am running a charity, operating a business, lecturing at a college, running a house, going to multiple appointments for my daughter and the list really goes on. However, I know that I always have extra time to sit on a board, go to a meeting, take on a course or squeeze something in like leisure time with friends and family. I do find time to go to the beach multiple times in the summer and I still get lots done. I have had friends mention to me that they have no time to do that kind of stuff. I wonder, “should I feel bad for doing what I do”? My answer is no. I can do all the busy life stuff and still have fun. I have managed to do that.
So, why does the majority of people I meet respond that way?
Perhaps it is that people are addicted to being busy? Maybe it sounds sexy or like your life is fulfilled because you are busy. Maybe being busy fulfills your place in the world? To me it is right up there with complaining about the weather. It is just something that people are doing. I feel like it is a bit of a competition sometimes, especially with moms. We really need to stop it. I feel this is an epidemic and not something to get an award for.
I think that each of us needs to recognize that we all are important – for ourselves, for our families, for each other. Let’s stop waving the “busy” flag like it’s a badge of honour. It’s not attractive, not sexy in the least. Instead, I would love to hear what you are up to. Tell me the details and let me comment on how busy you are, because I will and that’s okay. Let someone else decide if you are busy, but in the meantime, just tell me about you, your family, your life.
Being busy is not cool or hip or something to complain or brag about. Just stop talking about it. Be yourself, be you and simply share your journey. It’s what we really want to hear anyway.
P.S. How are you? I am so busy. I am doing fantastic! How are you?
Cheryl says
I work 40 hours a week, take care of a house, and still manage to have time to keep in touch with my friends who are not using the “busy” card and have time for myself and all my extra curriculars and appts and travel. I love this post Sue and I have so much more to say about people who throw “busy” around like it is a badge of honour. I think it is really about time management and prioritizing. I do find it exasperating when someone who does not work outside the home or works part time claims to have less “free time” than me but I guess it is all relative to what is going on in their lives and what they perceive as busy. People have have different time management and organization skills. So since this is a positive page I will leave my observation and opinion at that and leave with the comment that your time management skills with your full plate leaves me in awe!!!! Keep doing what you are doing because it is working!!!
Sue Bassett says
Thanks Cheryl.
Randy Bassett says
I know a lot of people that toss the word “busy” around quite freely, and since there is no definite measure of busy, they truly are busy from their perspective – and no one can deny other’s viewpoint.
It’s funny that the more people actually do become busy in a fun and productive way, the less they see themselves as actually being busy.
You did a nice job on this post. I agree that it is more important to share what is going on in their lives with other people, rather than using (or abusing) the label “busy”.
Sue Bassett says
Thanks.
Vox says
Great commentary on the state of “busy-ness.” The fact is that we always seem to find the time for what we think is important to us. Period.
You have given something to think about the next time someone asks how I am doing….
Sue Bassett says
Thanks for commenting and your perspective.
Rose says
I feel that now-a-days, this is true. Its definately a perspective. The thing that bothers me is that if you have young children, are you spending enough time with them? Are they getting your attention when they need it? If you are working 40 hours a week, are you making sure you are putting them first?
I say this because I have been the person who took on too much, who had too many extra curriculars, as did my husband. And then something happened. We basically were going so fast that we hit a brick wall. We thought we were spending enough time with eachother and with the kids… but it just didn’t work anymore. We had to reduce what we were involved in and have become less “busy”. I feel like as a family unit we have become stronger, we enjoy eachothers company better, its not… who’s going to be with the kids tonight while the other goes out, rushing dinner.
I feel relief, I feel closer to my kids. I feel more enjoyment. Cause in the end, I want my kids to feel loved, nutured, taken care of by the their parents.
Does the world need more volunteers? Sure. For me family comes first. So I voluteer for one organization which usually i am away one evening a week.
Maybe when my kids are older and out of the house I will keep myself more busy.
For now they are my “busy” that keeps me occupied.
Sue Bassett says
This was a good point you made Rose. Thank you for this perspective.
Reba Linker says
Such a terrific post, Sue! “Let’s stop waving the “busy” flag like it’s a badge of honour.” It really does force a kind of competition, comparison, doesn’t it? Or sometimes, as you said, it just shuts me down, because I don;t want to play that game, or perhaps take away from the other person’s needed spotlight. This really is an issue, and I am so glad you initiated this discussion. Well done!
Sue Bassett says
Thanks Reba, I like your perspective that someone else needs the limelight. Maybe that’s okay too. You gave me something to think about.
Natasha Botkin says
Once upon a time my life was uber busy and I had little time for anything. My life changed and voila I am enjoying a much slower paced exsistence. Yet, others remind me daily how busy they ate and, how I need to allocate myself to be busy. Sorry Charlie going with my flow. Xoxo
Sue Bassett says
Good for you!!
Dominee says
What a great reminder! It’s definitely important not to obsess about busy-ness!
Sue Bassett says
Thanks Dominee!!